As I've mentioned before, I have dreamt of my wedding pretty much my whole life. I've had a plethora of detailed dreams about it (of course, until recently, all of them had the annoying can't-see-the-groom's-face-at-the-end-of-the-aisle ending). I've saved pictures online and bookmarked wedding blogs for a few years now. Heck, when I was about 14 I decided I wanted to use the money my Paw had graciously and sweetly stored away for me for my wedding and/or honeymoon.
Okay, that's my side.
Miles, bless his heart, has not dreamt of such things. He's had dreams about things
after the wedding. He's kept things in perspective. He's told me (more than once) that our wedding day is really the least important day of our marriage, with the last day of it holding the most weight. Granted, this perspective of realism has been helpful in planning. It's allowed me to relinquish some control (which is a
big deal for me) and to not allow planning to be stressful or anxiety-provoking. However, I take this perspective with a grain of salt. I mean, come on, we're only getting married once! And it's pretty much the biggest party of our lives. There won't be any other time in our life where all our friends and family are gathered. That's a big deal!
Yesterday, I was reading in
Let Me Be a Woman by Elisabeth Elliot (shocker, I know); she addresses the tension between wedding dreams and vanity
beautifully, per yoush.
I laughed reading Jim Elliot's thoughts on weddings: [They are] "the vainest, most meaningless forms... no vestige of reality. The witnesses dress for show. The flesh is given all the place. We Fundamentalists are a pack of mood-loving show-offs... It is no more than an expensive tedium."
What a man. Obviously, Jim Elliot, at the age of 21, "had not come to understand the meaning of ritual." Elisabeth contrasts her late husband's quote with C.S. Lewis' thoughts on pomp, ritual, and humility:
Above all, you must be rid of the hideous idea, fruit of a widespread inferiority complex, that pomp, on the proper occasions, has any connection with vanity or self-conceit. A celebrant approaching the altar, a princess led out by a king to dance to dance a minuet, a general officer on a ceremonial parade, a major-domo preceding the boar's head at a Christmas feast - all these wear unusual clothes and move with calculated dignity. This does not mean that they are vain, but that they are obedient, they are obeying the hoc age which presides over every solemnity. The modern habit of doing ceremonial things unceremoniously is no proof of humility; rather it proves the offender's inability to forget himself in the rite, and his readiness to spoil for everyone else the proper pleasure of ritual.
Ahhh... bless you, C.S. Lewis. Isn't this such a richly beautiful imagery of ritual and tradition?
Elisabeth Elliot goes on to say that earthly orders are a reflection of the heavenly. A wedding isn't "merely an excuse to get all our friends and relatives together to 'share our joy'... [it is] a celebration of marriage, of an institution ordained of God at the creation of man, to be entered into with solemnity as well as with joy."
I often think of marriage as a reflection of Christ's relationship with his bride, the church. But for some strange reason, I forget weddings in and of themselves are a reflection of Christ's pursuit of and covenant with his bride. People love weddings, because, yes, they're fun, but ultimately because they are a reflection of something much greater. They're a dim semblance of a more glorious reality.
