I'm Going to Feel Like a Horrible Mother

I'm currently taking a psychology class about child maltreatment and abuse. I'm barely into the class and it's already extremely interesting to me. I love being a psychology major, especially when that means I get to learn about babies!

Today we had a guest lecturer that talked about North Carolina's recent initiative to reduce cases of Shaken Baby Syndrome. The program is called "PURPLE" and seeks to educate mothers, fathers, and care givers about what to expect when they have a baby in terms of crying and coping with crying.

Did you know that babies, normal & healthy babies, often cry 4 hours every day? And they sleep for about 16 hours every day, on average. That means for every hour a baby is awake they could be crying for half of it.

Whaaat?

In my mind, babies are supposed to be cute and cuddly and only cry for a minute or two until they're satiated by a clean diaper and milk.

Nope. Apparently not.

So why am I tell you this, friend? Well because frankly if I was a new mom and didn't have this information I would feel like I was the worst mother on the planet. I would feel like a failure. I would frankly not be shocked if I struggled with postpartum depression if my baby was inconsolably crying for hours on end. I also say this because it's not just something new moms need to be privy to but to males (who are, in the majority of cases, perpetrators of Shaken Baby Syndrome) and child care givers (who are more likely than mothers to commit the crime) who care for and live with children.

Crying is normal though. Hours of crying is normal. Healthy, even.

The PURPLE initiative seeks to console parents with this information, telling them that the crying of a normal, healthy baby is...

Persistent

Unexpected

Resistant to soothing

Painful expression

Long lasting

Clustered in the Evening

So, mamas & future mamas, take heart - you're not a failure! Daddies & future daddies, might wanna buy some earplugs, prepare to help out, and get the number of a good massage therapist (for you & your baby mama). For real.

Attachment Parenting and All Things Natural & Instinctual

Apparently there's been a lot of buzz around May's TIME magazine cover. So much buzz, in fact, that Miles caught wind of it and passed it along to me, knowing I'd be interested. As a psychology major, I'm eating this story up.

There are seriously TONS of avenues I could take with this one. 

Kate Pickert, author of this viral article, says that "attachment parenting is based on the idea that you should follow your instincts." It includes extended breast feeding, child-led weaning, co-sleeping, and swaddling/wearing the baby.

Dr. Bill Sears is the patriarch of attachment parenting. Understandably, his opinions stem from his own stressful childhood experiences. Sears says that if a woman and her child were on a deserted island, away from mother in laws, parenting books, & psychologists, she would naturally practice attachment parenting.

I'm all about being attached to your child, but since when has something being natural been the standard? Natural instincts and motherly tendencies are great, but "natural" tendencies shouldn't be the standard. I have a pretty natural tendency to be judgmental and prideful, to be controlling and withdraw from community, but those things aren't good. Talk of all things natural being superior isn't just displayed on the cover of TIME, this advertising scheme is used everywhere. Why? A lot of times natural things are better. Natural food is better because its free of added chemicals and preservatives. Natural linens are better because they're not synthetic. And the list goes on.

However, I often justify sinful behavior because it felt "natural." My natural tendencies (my nature) are not always good because I'm a human and therefore my nature is inherently sinful. Any facet of my nature that is not full on sinful is a product of grace and sanctification. So, friends, next time you choose something, justify something, purchase something because its natural, let that remind you of your own nature. Natural tendencies, while at times good, are often masqueraded sinful desires flowing from a depraved heart.

Monday Musings: Lots of Red, Lots of Food, & Feeling Like a Creeper

Our essence captured while trying to make sense of a professor's handwriting on Miles' final paper.
I promise this was not staged.

This was the weekend we've all been waiting for - graduation! Miles is now officially a graduate of NC State! Woohoo! (Kinda.) Apparently being a graduate of a major university translates into needing to get a job and not having a stable place to live - but, hey, we're goin' with it. Bring on the job interviews!

I think I'm going to have to go on a 74 day fast after this weekend. Miles' family being in town meant lots of good food (thanks, Tim & Wendy!). My belly greatly appreciated it. My hips not so much.

Being out and about committing gluttony and shopping and whatnot meant I had ample bits of humanity with which to watch and analyze. The hands down best facet of this population was the babies. I befriended a 3-year-old little boy named Brick (can't decide if I love or loathe this name) at a Japanese steakhouse. We "took pictures" with our pagers from the restaurant of one another. It was adorable. Pretty sure his mom thought I was a creeper. I continued my alerting baby behavior by playing peak-a-boo with a little girl in TJ Maxx. Pretty sure her dad thought I was a creeper. I never know how to justify myself in situations like that. I think I need a necklace/forehead tattoo/demarcation that states my non-creepy, whole-hearted love for babies. Suggestions?

Frying-Vat-Free Make Up Options

I am the oiliest person I know. My mom and I can't go anywhere without oil absorbing sheets, for fear of looking like we dipped our faces in a frying vat at McDonald's. Summer is the worst time of year for frying-vat-face, which is why I'm posting some make-up products I've tried and loved (for oily faces + some random year-round products). Some of the products are splurges, but they are well worth what you pay for them and last a long time!

De-greasers:

 I just started using Urban Decay De-Slick (in a tube) after seeing it featured on a food blog, oddly enough. I've found applying it with a sponge wedge applicator yields the best result. It gives me a matte finish, which was previously unheard of and very welcomed!

I just saw these Boscia Lavender Blotting Linens featured on Martha Stewart Weddings. They've received great reviews, and I can't wait to try them. Plus, they have twice as many sheets as the leading oil absorbing wipe for roughly the same price!

Eyeshadow Primer:

I've had Urban Decay Original Eyeshadow Primer for almost two years now and have yet to finish the bottle. Before using this primer, anytime I would wear eyeshadow it would (1) either come off completely or (2) gather into a really attractive, mangled, thick crease. This primer keeps eyeshadow on my oily eyelids all day, which is quite the feat!

Eyeshadow: Too Faced's Neutral Eyeshadow Collection

This was a definite splurge from two Christmases ago. I still haven't put a dent in it! Partially because I don't wear eyeshadow that often, and partially because it's so pigmented that a little goes a long way. (Not having to use a ton of eyeshadow to get the color to show up means less creasing, too!) Too Faced has some great eyeshadow options and their kits often include instructions/ideas for wearing their products. This product will well outlast my low-end drugstore eyeshadow.

Lipstick: Revlon Color Burst Lip Butter

"Cherry Tarte" was my first real lipstick ever. I got it a few months ago and feel super sophisticated wearing it! I was really nervous about buying lipstick and did a lot of research going into it. Nearly everywhere I checked said this lipstick was the best. At first "Cherry Tarte" seemed too bright for me, but I decided to bite the bullet and give it a shot. I was really pleased! It's not quite as bright on and I would definitely recommend this lipstick - no funky taste or weird break-out-inducing products (which for me is huge!). I want to add "Sugar Frosting' and "Pink Parfait" to my collection for more toned-down options.

Mascara: L'Oreal Telescopic Mascara

Y'all. This mascara is the best. I've used it since my high school days of dreaming about being an eyelash model. I've tried tons of other kinds of mascara and always come back to this one. The regular Telescopic kind (not the funky explosion kind) is my fave!

Here's Looking At You, Almost Graduated Fiance

Miles is DONE with his college career and will graduate this Saturday! I edited his last college paper ever last night, which was a bittersweet moment for the nerd in me.

You've worked so hard this year, Miles, amidst lots of change. You've somehow managed to balance loving me well with your school work, your friends, BYX, being an RA, and teaching Route56.

I'm not going to lie, I'm pretty excited you're done so you can stop writing crazy research papers and return to writing ridiculously sweet poetry :)

I'm so proud of you!