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Thursday, August 9, 2012

Can We Pray Together?

Over the past decade or so, I've received lots of dating/relationship advice. Some good, some not so great, some pretty awful. One of the nuggets of advice I've heard throughout the years is not to pray with your boyfriend/girlfriend. I blindly accepted this advice without really praying about it or examining my own heart.

Super cheesy picture of a couple praying. Aka what Miles & I look like when we pray. Except not.

People told me that if you grow in one area (emotionally, spiritually, or physically) with your significant other, then you'll want to grow in all the other areas of your relationship. Just to clarify up front, I think there is a lot of truth to this statement. However, I think when it comes to growing spiritually with your significant other it goes back to your heart behind the issue.

When Miles and I had been courting/dating/whatever for a few months he wanted to start praying together. I vehemently disagreed with him (due to my blind acceptance of the "don't pray with your boyfriend" rule) and refused to pray with him. My stubbornness even resulted in awkward situations where he would start praying, finish his prayer, wait for me to start and I never would. Admittedly not one of my brightest moments.

So, bottom line, here's my advice:

If you want to pray with your boyfrand, ask yourself these questions:

Why do you want to pray together?
For us, we wanted to start praying together to ask for the Holy Spirit's help in our fight to stay "pure" til we got married. This was a totally legit reason to pray together, but I was dumb and legalistic. (And, if I'm honest, I didn't want to be that open and vulnerable.) Just examine your heart before you pray and even pray for pure intentions.

Be smart.
Don't go praying together by candlelight alone in his dorm room at 11 p.m. while his roommate is away for the weekend. That's just asking for trouble - you're creating a super intimate spiritual moment that could easily become a super intimate physical moment. There's nothing wrong with praying in public. Shoot, Miles and I were hanging out at a coffee shop the other day and we straight up closed our computers and prayed. Sure, maybe it looked weird, but I really didn't (obvi) care.

Recognize the weight of prayer. 
Prayer is a weighty, intimate thing, which is what makes it so awesome! If you're not so sure if Johnny is "The One" for you, then it might not be the best idea to pray with him every time you see him. But if you're super serious/talking about marriage/engaged then asking the creator of the universe to guide and bless your relationship probably isn't a bad idea. If you've been spoon fed the "don't pray together" rule for years and years, then seek council about prayer with your significant other if you're still skeptical.

1 comment:

  1. Smart tips. It's definitely worthwhile to consider these three points when in a bf-gf relationship where guarding our hearts and emotions is still important.